Epic Beard Man Facts by Douglas!

Douglas! emailed us a list of EBM facts so tasty we wanted to put it on a dish and share them all with you.

EBM raised his voice once. And now we have grand canyon.

During the Vietnam war, EBM sniped Vietcongs from his porch in Chicago.

EBM once flicked a fly that was buzzing infront of his face so hard that it started orbiting the earth. When it came back around it hit him in the back of the head and immediatley bounced back the other way. This continued and the fly soon reached the speed of light and created a vortex which sucked the world as we know it into another dimension, in where EBM defeated a whole alien race, and sent us back before we even knew it. He rarley tells anyone.

EBM cries 50 cal. sniper rounds.

EBM once punched 5 guys in the jaw at the same time.

In his spare time, EBM likes to see how fast he can rip blue whales to shreds. His personal best is 1 second blank.

When EBM has a bad internet connection, he rips the internet cable out of the ground and pulls the closest internet company closer.

EBM can put a piece of coal into his beard, shake his head, and pull out a diamond.

EBM makes cookies by gathering all the ingredients and screaming at it.