Epic Beard Man literally shit a brick. -Submitted by Ryan “Danger” Butler
Epic Beard Man was put in the oven at the age of 3 and survived. That’s not a joke it really happened. -Submitted by Ryan “Danger” Butler
It was sad to hear that EBM’s twin died at birth. When we asked EBM how he felt about that he said, “There can only be one” and then showed us a samurai sword. We found that to be kind of odd. Oh well.
So, a black guy, a Jewish guy, an Asian guy and Epic Beard Man walk into a bar. The black guy asks the Asian guy, hypothetically, how much he would charge if he were to shine shoes for a living? The Asian guy said two dollars per pair. The Jewish guy interrupted and said he would do it for $1.50 per pair. Epic Beard Man was not available to answer because he was busy getting at bitches like a real man and not talking about shining shoes.
Epic Beard Man smokes cigarettes while taking a shower.